I put a lot of thought into planning our meals, feeling a sense of responsibility. I often got home around the same time as my husband and would go right to work on preparing dinner. Multiple pots would be on the stove and he'd walk in and try to help, removing one (usually the one I didn't think was ready) and putting its contents in a serving bowl.
Couldn't he see that I was cooking? Didn't he know I had it under control?
Cooking proved to be a source of contention during our first year of marriage. We both wanted to cook. I wanted to because I thought it was my duty as the wife. He wanted to because he found it an outlet for creativity.
I'm not here to argue duty vs. creativity, but something had to give. As much as I'd heard it, I learned firsthand every couple is different and we had to find what works for our marriage. We had many conversations about cooking and who should do it. We tried to do it together, but found we were getting in each other's way, rather than doing it together.
Eventually, I let go. I could see he was energized by cooking, whereas I felt drained. It was clearly a more life-giving experience for him.
I had to ask myself what life-giving experiences there were for me to pursue. Not all chores are life-giving, but some are. Having clean clothes neatly folded and put away energizes me, so I do the laundry.
Have you had to let go of something you thought you loved?